The promise was to me, to deactivate my social media (Facebook) account and to find joy. This chronicles my first few days.
It’s 11:30 pm on February 9, 2017. I just hit the deactivate button on my Facebook account. I felt like a kid that wanted to grab another cookie while mom had her back turned. Reach for it and then pull back – reach for it. I made sure to download a copy of my Facebook (did you know you can do that?) so as to preserve private messages, friends lists and photos.
So now what? I am going to bed. I feel good. I feel free.
February 10th – It’s amazing how my mind only went to wondering how things are going on social media once or twice an hour!
February 11th – Retail therapy instead of social media? I’m finding the art of window shopping; something I was never able to do before but find that I actually can enjoy that!
February 12th – A day of remembrance in church and breaking bread with my son in-law and his family in honor of his dad.
February 13th – I’m learning the importance of organization and finding time to enjoy and be thankful for my blessings. This organization thing may take some time. I think my hiatus from social media is going to change a lot of things for me, in a very good way!
I promise not to chronicle my entire life in future posts with a daily record but I want those who are following to know that I am okay. I am loved and beloved. My peace within is growing exponentially.
Today is Valentine’s Day. My beloved used to really put thought into the cards he purchased for me until he found the one that said exactly what he could not put into words himself – at least until he knew that he could no longer buy anymore – it was then that he became verbose. He never was a man of many words, but “I love you” and “always and forever” and “I love you more” were the words that he spoke but followed with action. Because after all words are only words. There was never a moment in our married life that I did not feel loved and honored. He made being his wife a privilege. I feel confident today that somehow, somewhere, his spirit is surrounding me with that gift of his love. It was a gift because I know that there are many people who don’t have love in their lives or the kind of love that transcends all time. My heart is full of joy today for what was and what will always be, mine.
My Valentine was the cupid who pierced my heart with his kindness, his laughter, his strength and most assuredly his love. Some of my greatest memories are those when we would gaze into each other’s eyes and just stay there – finding each other’s soul. What a gift that was and one that I get to cherish for always and forever.
I end this with one of our Instant Message exchanges and how we dealt with our deep love for each other and the sorrow of what was to come … this is true love:
surgesT@: Can’t wait for another huge hug.
surgesK@: Me toooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
surgesK@: Love You
surgesT@: I looooovvvvveeee youuuuuuuuu
surgesK@ t: HUBA HUBA
surgesK@: you are beautiful!
surgesT@: Don’t cry – it will be ok … I hope I’m beautiful when I see you again for the first time.
surgesK@: I don’t have to hope I know you will be!!!
surgesK@: You are the most beautiful Woman in the world! And you are all mine My Love
surgesT@: I will always be yours.
surgesK@: thank You That is one thing to be true!!!
surgesT@: you know it!