All I Know

There are not a lot of words to the song All I Know by Art Garfunkel, but both the lyrics and the melody give me peace.  Aside from the first verse not being relevant, All I know is how very much I continue to love Keith.
I am who I am because of the love and friendship that Keith and I shared together.  I am who I am because we believed that no matter what, our love was stronger than any obstacle we had placed before us.  Still today, I am who I am because of his death and the obstacle of grief so present always, will be overcome by our love for each other.
I am stronger than I ever thought possible, though Keith and our hospice social worker told me how strong I would be.  Some days I’ve thought they knew me better than I knew myself and then there are days I say to myself – I have no choice.  Sure, I could lay down at night and choose not to get out of bed everyday, but that is not what Keith would want and it certainly isn’t what God wants of me. God saw me through the hardest nights and longest days as Keith laid motionless for three while his body underwent changes to prepare him for death.  As I held him, I loved him and that’s all I knew.  As I sat in the funeral home hours after his death making sure every last detail was right, I loved him.  As I stood at his casket for hours on end, all I knew was that I loved him.  As sad as it was during that wake and funeral, I didn’t feel anything but love. When I talk about him as I do in some way, every single day, it’s his love shining through.  Keith’s love – it’s all I know.
I hope that one day every person who reads these words has experienced or will experience in their lifetime the love and passion that Keith and I shared.  Through good times and bad, we were there for each other.  In sickness and in health, we never waned.  Death parted us physically but it absolutely did not part our love.
What I had hoped for our future together is gone now, but I no longer feel sad when I see elderly couples at dinner.  Instead I say a silent prayer that they know how blessed they are.  It is obvious that I miss my best friend but could not ask for better than what I had.

As Art Garfunkel wrote:

When the singer’s gone
Let the song go on
It’s a fine line between the darkness and the dawn
But the ending always comes at last
Endings always come too fast
They come too fast but they pass slow
I love you and that’s all I know
Keith is definitely the light in my darkness still.  And yes, his life went too fast and some days seem so slow, but I will love him always for that’s all I know.

8 thoughts on “All I Know

  1. How Blessed can you possibly be,
    To have that Love that is now for eternity
    Though your sad and he’s gone
    And your love it goes strong
    Gives you strength to go on
    Knowing deep down within, all along,
    He is Loving you too.

    Therese, this I Promise you
    Your Buddy,
    Kenny

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your love is something that I can feel everytime you write about him. I know how hard it must be without him here now but that love is with you forever and always 🙂 xoxoxoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Therese, this is so beautiful to read. It reminds each of us to “count our blessings” with who we have in our life. That was my dad’s verse, “Count Your Blessings.” He also said “Every day is a blessing.” Your words reflect both of these sayings. You are counting your blessings and realizing that each day is a new blessing. Sending love your way.

    Frank and Vicki

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  4. Beautiful love and sentiments today and every day!! You are so blessed to convery your feelings and thoughts into such beautiful words. I hope you keep writing forever and eventually become a published writer. Who wouldn’t love to read “A Woman Blessed” in book form? You have been blessed with such a marvelous talent by God. I recently met a woman in my arthritis swim class that has published several books (ten or eleven). She is a retired nurse and mostly wrote mysteries which I haven’t read yet. She claims that you make more money if you self-publish because if you use a publisher, they have to get their “cut”. She won an award for the book I read…a sad, but well-written love story. It was a nice read. Your words are more powerful and reach out to ones very soul!
    Love, Aunt Sandy

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  5. I just read this, how I echo it. I too cared for my dying husband, watch him live to the fullest to the day he passed into Jesus arms. I have found great comfort in sisters who walk in widowhood. To see the hope and the courage and the struggle and the dreams I have… are all normal and that I am not alone. Writing on my blog Widows Manna, has opened doors for me to rewch out to those who share similar paths. May God use your writing to bless others, as I have been blessed.

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