I have a dream that I wish I could somehow turn into reality. If I had the means, I would show up at every single doorstep of my friends who need a hug or someone to hold their hand, if only for a short amount of time. Sometimes, I believe, people don’t even know that is what they need. I know that I did not always know.
My heart feels so enormous now and aches for those who I know could use an understanding friend. Words are important in our interactions but feelings of desperation often need a human touch. To have someone sit beside you and say nothing, but hold your hand, or give a nod and shed a few tears together because you know. You have done this before. I feel this push; almost a gravitational pull to get out there and help. My heart cares so much for those who are experiencing what I have experienced. It is more than feeling empathy. It is more than feeling bad for people and their circumstances. I do not have the words to describe the emotion that is inside of me. It is something I have not felt for a very long time, almost an excitement.
I have prayed. I have prayed a lot. I have asked for guidance. I believe it is more than missing my husband. I think it is more than missing the care-giving of him. I think it is in my soul. I am feeling the need to reach out beyond myself in a way that is bigger than I can imagine. I’m not looking for a job or a career now. I am looking to fill the hearts of others with joy and peace. I’m looking for a way of being that friend to others. Keith and I often reached out to others in their time of need, together. We would often hear something and immediately get into our car and go…just go. Be there. Be there in person and be there now.
I am mostly a doer, not a planner. I run from the heart and will be the first to raise my hand. I’m not a leader, but I belong to something bigger than myself. I am also, a bit shy until I am 100% comfortable in what I am doing.
I do not know where this dream of mine will lead. What I do know is that I am keeping my heart wide open. If I show up on your door-step, you know I just felt compelled to do so.